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The Shreds

by Corporate Hearts

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1.
Hex 03:14
My body is decades ahead of my brain And seconds away from giving out on me The thrill is gone and replaced with an ache So dull it could lull me to permanent sleep And you are an angel, you are a saint But I gave up in grade school on the Catholic faith And gave myself over to evil and hate As you pray for my soul, I’m out searching for prey This summer weather you love is boiling my blood And all my good intentions have spoiled in the sun I recoil at the sight of happy people having fun Give me a cooler full of anything strong that’s big enough To stuff my body into when I’m done I’m your increasingly unwanted guest A lost soul you wish you never found You saw something in me and brought me home Now I am here to put a hex upon your house And all these love songs you play burrow into my brain Sever my nerves and disconnect my heart from my veins I’m in pain at the thought of having any real feelings for anyone All I want’s the drone and drag of going numb To creep into my crawling skin as I wait for night to come I’m your increasingly unwanted pet You couldn’t bear to watch them put down You tried to save me and give me a home Now I am here to put a pox upon your house Hope springs eternal from a hole in your Head is a smoking inferno of terror and Dreading the day when reality finally seeps In through the cracks in the floor And crawls into your Better judgment said You should’ve left when you still had the chance I’m your increasingly unwanted pest But you just can’t bring yourself to move out You try to pretend that I don’t exist But I am here to bring a plague upon your house
2.
I have problems with rage I have problems with jealousy It stems from insecurity, a fluctuation of my self-worth   She said I was acting like I was possessed, Made up a lie, and left me on her front steps I prayed for nails to rain down and shatter the earth   One day I’ll find someone who won’t turn me into a psychopath When you’re down that road, you can’t turn around You can’t turn back I know I’ve got a problem, I know I need help If I’m ever gonna coexist with someone else Right now I need everyone to just leave me alone   I told her she’s the worst person that ever lived And in that moment I really believed it And I wanted someone else to feel the way I do   She looked me dead in the eye And, without a second thought, told another lie Then he drove her away the way I used to   And as I stood there on the sidewalk at 3am Inside I completely lost my head I became that maniac again   I'm a terrorizer, you're horrified I wanna see the terrified look in your eyes Open the skies and bring us all to an end   One day I’ll find someone who won’t turn me into a psychopath When you’re down that road, you can’t turn around You can’t turn back I know I’ve got a problem, I know I need help If I’m ever gonna coexist with someone else Right now I need everyone to just leave me alone One day I’ll find someone who won’t turn me into a psychopath It’s a long dark road and you can’t turn around You can’t turn back I’ve got so many problems, I know I need help If I’m ever gonna live with anyone else Right now I need everyone to just leave me alone
3.
It’s freezing cold and it’s getting dark It’s a long crawl through the front yard From the front door to my old car When I get there I bet it won’t start And I’m feeling old, too old for this I thought we’d outgrown this kind of shit The crying and the screaming And the long, sickening silences We were just kids when we first met And we’ve just been kidding ourselves since then Because when it isn’t meant to be You’ve gotta force that fucker violently In love and God and happy thoughts you gotta pretend to believe And if it were up to me I’d be someone else entirely But if you’re dwelling on the past You’re better off losing your memory When I dream about our dream house I’m on the front porch by myself And I try the door but I’m locked out There’s a stranger living with you now And I wake up in a cold sweat On a cold couch or an empty bed Or in a coffin with a closed lid Drawing flies while you’re painting the town red We were just kids when we first met And we’ve just been kidding ourselves since then Because when it isn’t meant to be You’ve gotta force that fucker violently In love and God and happy thoughts you gotta pretend to believe And if it were up to me You’d be someone else entirely But if I’m dwelling on the past I’m better off losing my memory And I talk to you like your father talks to your mother And just like them it’s hard to understand what we ever saw in each other And you look and me like my mother looks at my father With a mix of disdain and regret as you strain to remember why you ever bothered But I’ve got half a mind To half-heartedly apologize Because there’s part of me That wants to try to make it right But it’s been wrong so long It’s a losing fight So take me at my word, for what little bit that’s worth And we can go our separate ways Yeah you go to hell and I’ll go to waste And if I were the last man on Earth You’d still be better off alone Because nuclear winter ain’t nothing Compared to another winter in this home
4.
Some nights I’m way more conscious of my teeth than I should be I push and pull and I swear they’re falling out I’m way less confident than I let on to anyone Since our falling out, I just wander around Maybe I should retrace my steps Maybe I should think a little less about death It's hard to let go and harder to accept So I'll say goodbye and wish you the best Some nights I feel everything, all emotions, all movements I toss and turn and I watch my room fall in waves Questions of mortality and waves of panic Since our falling out, I’ve been reading more graves   Maybe I should retrace my steps Maybe I should think a little less about death It's hard to let go and harder to accept So I'll keep my head down and hope for the best Just keep your head down and hope for the best Some nights I have these memories of where we’ve been The boardwalk, Pittsburgh, and beach motels I haven’t gotten any better My body’s in your bedroom, my head is in hell But I know I’ve been selfish and strangely self-aware I go through phases, sometimes I don’t care Like fall into winter, we’re fading out Since our falling out, I just wander around Maybe I should retrace my steps Maybe I should think a little less about death It's hard to let go and harder to accept So I'll say goodbye and wish you the best Maybe I should not waste my breath Maybe I should talk a little less about death But the extra noise and the added stress Distract from the fact that I don’t know what's next
5.
If somebody puts a gun to my head I won't admit to this again I won't admit to this again But the truth is I get why you did what you did I was hell to live with I was a miserable prick And I still am So I won't try to stop you Or ask you for more time Because I'm not gonna improve And honestly, I'm not even trying So I'll just tell you that I hate you Because we're better off that way And it's easier to say Than admitting I don't blame you And begging you to stay When I know things will never change Because I can't Be bothered to get better I don't know how to stop And I know I should never say never But I don't like my odds And I know I didn't turn out to be Who we thought I'd be Well I'm disappointed too But I don't expect you to put up with me So don't expect me to put up a fight for you Because I get why you said what you said Why you did what you did Why it fucked up your head And I get why you packed up and left Why you're disillusioned Why you couldn't handle it And I get why you wish you could forget Why you wish we never met Why you wish I was dead But if somebody puts a gun to my head I won't admit to this again I won't admit to this again I won't say shit
6.
There are still rotting pumpkins left on the front steps in mid-February And there are poinsettias that are withered and dead in the cemetery   When the ball dropped I sarcastically yelled, “Happy New Year” Because I’m pretty sure I’ll see it again Before I’m able to get out of here   I've got dreams of New York City and London I have this dream where it's pitch black and I'm running From the sharp claws of the small town that I grew up in Then I wake up and realize I'm running from nothing I realize I'm running from nothing I’ve heard that dwelling on the past is regret And looking to the future is dread But I’m finding out that living in the present is stress   I've got deadlines circling over my bed when I'm trying to sleep And the headlines that are scrolling through my head are just out of reach I've got dreams of heading out to the west coast I have this dream where I get in my car and just go But somewhere out in the midwest all the roads are closed I can never seem to remember how the rest goes I've got dreams of New York City and London I have this dream where it's pitch black and I'm running From the sharp claws of the small town that I grew up in Then I wake up and realize I'm running from nothing I realize I'm running from nothing I'm still running from nothing.
7.
I sighed and whispered to myself, “This is the start of a brand new chapter.” Maybe I should scrap the whole thing 'Cause this feels so familiar Are they still burning books in your town? Can I stop in when I pass through this summer? It’s only a 4-hour drive on a good day I gotta get away from her And all of this, really Because the panic snowballs and then it melts And short-circuits the wiring inside of my skull Blank pages are better than the ramblings of A 21-year-old me with delusions of the future Is there still a curfew in your town? Can I stop in when I pass through this summer? I haven’t been sleeping, I’ve just been wandering around I gotta forget about work and school And all of this, really Sometimes I talk out loud to myself As if the break in silence will resonate more I say, “Nothing thrown your way can break you.” Then I walk out the front door And I lock it behind me And I glide along the same path to the same places And I’m walking beside me Watching a narrative that’s been done to death Is there a place for me to play in your town? Can I stop in when I pass through this summer? I’ve been playing the same songs in the same bars For what seems like forever I started driving and said to myself, “This is the start of a brand new chapter.” I’m still trying to find a place to fit in It’s been nearly impossible For all of us, really
8.
Teenage heartache Becomes middle age chest pain I am nostalgic for no one I look forward to nothing Youthful ambition Atrophies and stagnates Aspirations choke and die Apathy takes their place The story of my life could fit on one side of a page Folded into quarters, cut in half and double spaced Nearly three decades of drawn-out decay Reduced to a single refrain I sing I have done everything wrong And it’s a hard pill to swallow when you take the whole bottle at once And all young lovers Grow to resent each other Sparks fly then fall and die Old flames get smothered And all my potential Lost and never recovered If I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t even have bothered And even in my wildest dreams I just sit and watch TV Maybe call up my best friends to see if they remember me I think in a language I don’t speak I don’t say anything I mean Ungraciously admit defeat A lifelong losing streak because I have done everything wrong And it’s a hard pill to swallow when you take the whole bottle When you take the whole bottle you wake up and everyone is gone
9.
I’m trying to be less independent, I know that may sound strange In a culture in which high-class businessmen are given all the praise And strong and capable women in pop music are all the rage I just don't wanna be some sad, lonely rocker in middle age I'm not saying I need a white picket fence, if those even still exist In fact, I've been fencing myself in and pretty much impossible to live with But in my defense, I find it offensive when anyone recommends That I settle in and start planning for the end 'Cause my last relationship was a nightmare That slowly revealed itself And I'm never able to sleep well When I'm sleeping with someone else Once you’ve seen this a thousand times You become desensitized But maybe you and I could go for a drive tonight I’ve seen this a thousand times And I’ve finally lost my mind But maybe you and I could go for a drive tonight I’ll try not to ramble too much about my new songs But if I do, you don’t have to act like you care And just to warn you, once I realize I’m not alone I always tend to overshare I’ll try not to overshare   My last relationship was a nightmare We were slowly killing ourselves Looking back on it, I didn't look well So now I’m not looking for anyone else Once you’ve seen this a thousand times You become desensitized But maybe you and I could go for a drive tonight I’ve seen this a thousand times And I’ve finally lost my mind But maybe you and I could go for a drive tonight Once you’ve seen this a thousand times You become desensitized But maybe you and I could go for a drive tonight I’ve seen this a thousand times And I’ve finally lost my mind Maybe we can go inside And you can remind me why I’m glad to be alive Why I’m glad to be alive Maybe we can go inside And you can remind me why I’m glad to be alive Or maybe we can just drive... Maybe we can just drive.
10.
The Shreds 04:46
Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older? We wouldn’t have to wait so long for this to be over Well I’m starting to feel like a soldier I can’t remember what I’m fighting for Are you searching for meaning? Stop You’re wasting your time You can dig through the shit looking for it But there’s nothing to find I’m not trying to be negative I’m just positive nothing good can last I’m the eternal optimist But my glass is half-full of broken glass So wouldn’t it be nice if we were older? We wouldn’t have to wait so long for this to be over Well I’m starting to feel like a soldier I can’t remember what we’re fighting for Are you longing for purpose? Stop You’re out of your mind You’ve been doomed since you were ripped from the womb In the same sterile room you go to when you die Am I dragging you down? Am I bumming you out? Man, I’m just being real I’m an agent for truth and barely breathing proof That you’re only as young as you feel But wouldn’t it be nice if we were older? We wouldn’t have to wait so long for this to be over And lately I feel like a soldier I can’t remember my life before war And I don’t want to fight anymore You can try to make peace It’ll shatter to pieces You can cling to beliefs But they’ll crumble in your hands You can start over clean But here’s how it ends If you go and get your hopes up They’ll be coming down in shreds Because God is a fiction created by hypocrites Sold to the gullible, weak-minded idiots Love is a cancer that feeds off of innocence Everything fun is a deadly carcinogen Where’s everyone going?

about

In keeping with our long tradition of uplifting, feel-good music, this record is about the damage anger and depression can do to your life. While so much music points the finger of blame at other people, these songs are about the ways in which we alienate friends and loved ones with selfishness and negativity. But we did try to include some pretty melodies!

We each wrote our respective songs separately, with little to no discussion about lyrical themes. But as we started sharing demos, it became clear that we were both writing mainly about pushing people away when you need them the most.

It took us about a year to write the whole record and it was recorded during many late nights in a small room over the course of about 4 months. The process was frustrating to the point of insanity at times but we're very proud of the result.

Thanks for listening!

credits

released December 5, 2014

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Corporate Hearts at the Green Lodge, Warminster, Pa., August-December 2014.

Album cover by Corporate Hearts.

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Corporate Hearts Pennsylvania

corporatehearts.storenvy.com

Formed in November 2010, Corporate Hearts is a two-piece, mainly acoustic punk rock band from Bucks County, Pa.
With influences ranging from Alkaline Trio and the Lawrence Arms to the Replacements and the National, Corporate Hearts play punk rock with a heavy focus on lyrics, harmonies and rippling Danzig-esque physiques.
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